Spot romance scams before they break the bank (and your heart)

With February widely celebrated as the month of love, this time of year is ideal for scammers to play on the emotions of those on the lookout for meaningful relationships. What are the warning signs and how can you protect yourself and your bank balance?

For illustrative purposes only. Image by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

The Southern African Fraud Prevention Service (SAFPS) has sent out a warning against romance scams, saying there tends to be an increase in this type of deception this time of year.

"While romance scams are a reality all year round, scammers actively target and exploit people's emotions more around Valentine's Day," explained Manie van Schalkwyk, CEO of the SAFPS, in a press release earlier this week. "Romance scams are no longer obvious. They are highly elaborate, psychologically engineered, and technologically enabled," Van Schalkwyk said.

The statement came shortly after the disappearance of a former contestant in the Afrikaans reality cooking show Kokkedoor made headlines across South Africa after she allegedly fell for an online romance scam. Mariana Kotze was first believed to have been hijacked in Komatipoort, Mpumalanga. She later told the Lowvelder newspaper that she was actually travelling to OR Tambo International Airport after allegedly being invited to Italy by a tennis player called "Jannik Sinner" who she met on WhatsApp in December 2025.

It's about psychology more than technology

Although the online environment makes it easy for romance scammers to target and get in touch with potential victims, it's more about psychology than technology. Just like with any type of disinformation, which is false information that is intentionally fabricated in order to deceive, those who create it know very well how to play on their victims' emotions.

Some of these scams start on dating apps and social media platforms where scammers use fake profiles to make contact with unsuspecting people online. In other instances they send WhatsApp messages pretending they know you or that they have the "wrong number". If someone replies, they strike up a conversation and the manipulation begins.

Scammers typically try to build an intense emotional connection, characterised by excessive flattery, as quickly as possible. Once they've established trust, they start asking for money or things that cost money, such as gift cards, airtime or data. They often claim an urgent personal crisis such as a medical or travel emergency while pretending they're on their way to see you. In other instances they might trick you into paying money into an account as an investment, promising unbelievably good returns.

These requests are often small at first and in the beginning they might even pay you back. But once they've tricked you into sending them larger sums of money, they're suddenly nowhere to be found, leaving you with the financial and emotional consequences.

Graphic by NetSavvy

How to protect yourself

Think critically about all information you see online, including the messages you receive on social media and messaging apps. Remember:

• Anyone can create a fake profile pretending to be someone they're not and AI-generated images are making it even easier than before.

• Scammers are masters in manipulation, also referred to as social engineering, and they can use the information that's available about us online or that we provide them with against us.

• If something sounds too good or strange to be true, it usually is.

Ways to protect yourself against scammers:

• Never give money or personal information (identity numbers, birthdays, family members' names, your address, etc.) to anyone you haven't met in person.

• Don't reply to WhatsApp messages from numbers you're unfamiliar with.

• If you suspect you're dealing with a scammer, block and report them immediately.

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